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Sport (Transcript)
Back to the episode: Introduction is organising some papers. Barry enters enthusiastically Barry: Hiya Paul! Paul: Hiya! Barry: Hey what are we gonna do today? Paul: Oh today's the whole shows got a sporting flavour! Barry: Ooh like prawn cocktail! I love pawn cocktail. Paul: Yeah like...Nooo! Not prawn cocktail! Barry: '''Oh '''Paul: No It's all about sport. You know like grandstand only better. Barry: Grandstand eh? Paul: Now the first thing we need is the running orders. Barry: Running Orders? Paul: Yes Barry: '''Ready, Steady, GO!! runs around the desk And here we go and were off down the str... stops him. Fun's over Barry '''Paul: Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey! Where you going? Barry: Well you gave me the running orders didn't ya? Paul: Not that kind of running orders! Barry: '''Oh '''Paul: '''No It's what's called in the trade a menu '''Barry: Oh were back to prawn cocktail again aren't we i said we wo.... Paul: No, no ,no! It's a peice of paper that lists out a schedual bit by bit of what you are gonna do in the show. Barry: '''Oh '''Paul: '''Don't you know nothing? '''Barry: '''No i don't know nothing. '''Paul: Didn't think you did. Barry: '''Ah.. '''Paul: No look what we need really is a presenter. Barry: Presenter? Paul: Mmm Barry: Hey Paul! taps Paul Can i do it? Paul: Oh no no! It's gotta be somebody who knows all about sport. Barry: '''Well that's me then isn't it? '''Paul: Eh? Barry: Well i won the 5 meters underwater hurdles at school didn't it? imitates his victory Paul: Did ya!? Barry: Yeah there i was swimmin.. Paul: Oooh wait i tell you what i'll give you a test. for once Paul stands up Barry: Will ya!? Paul: '''You sit down on the chair and i'll ask you a couple of questions. '''Barry: Can i sit in the chair!? sits down in the chair Paul: You sit in the chair, yes. picks up his papers Now first of all it's a question on soccer. Barry: Soccer! Paul: Yeah. Barry: I'm good at soccer Paul: Are ya? Barry: '''Yeah. '''Paul: Well it's a 3 part question. You can have the first part first, the second part first or the third part first. does a lot of thinking Barry: I'll have the third part first. Paul: Right Reading Who scored the goal? seconds of Silence. Even i can't get the answer to this one Barry: I'm not gonna be very good at this. Paul: No i didn't think you would be really. Barry: No i'm not. gets out of the chair and Paul sits back in it Paul: Anyways it doesn't matter. We've already got somebody. Barry: Have ya? Paul: Yes someone with great interllect who knows everything about sport from Fencing to Furlongs. Everything. Barry: Great! Who have we got? Paul: Me. dear oh dear! Barry's face couldn't have said it better myself. So after a nice introduction it's time to roll the openeing! After the Theme Song. are at Paul's desk. Paul has the schedual in his hand Paul: ''' Good morning! Er...we've got a packed program for you today here on ChuckleVision Sports Field. Er...Nigel Mansell will be here. Later in his racing car we will have live coverage of an international football match between..phone rings. Paul answers it Er...sorry...yes? short phone call later Oh...pops the phone down Er...Nigel Mansell will be here later in his racing car...does a slight chuckle Er..we've got an international football match between "The Greatest Footballers Ever Team" and "Rotherham United Reserves". Er...there's also snooker coverage from The Crucible and of course steeple chasing from Aintree....walks in and slaps a megaphone to Paul's ear while whispering a message before leaving offscreen Er...i'm getting a message in my ear. Er...the snooker final has entered a crucial stage so...it's straight over to "Muttering Mike Mason" at the crucible! The Crucible Live Final! ready folks. Were gonna see the ultimate live Snooker final at the Crucible!....er...a shot of man playing snooker i guess is the "Live Final". Oh don't forget the commentary whispered by Muttering Mike Mason.....or...er...Barry '''Barry: And you've just made it back in time to see the world champion Steve Davis as he lines up on what could be the match winning shot. a few seconds a snap is heard By jove he is in trouble.....his braces have snapped....So with Steve Davis looking like he's in trouble here with a match winning oppertunity and no braces...i'ts back to the studio! Back to the Studio Barry is done checking out the match it cuts back to the studio. At the time of showing Paul was indulging in a cuppa. He nearly forgets that Barry is done commentating and just abouts spits out his tea. He pops the cup down and begins to wipe his mouth...your a messy drinker Paul. After a few coughs he regains his voice back Paul: Erm....er...yeah fine...er...we'll be keeping in touch with developments as and when they happen.... enters with a sheet of paper for Paul which Paul takes Barry: '''Isn't it going well? '''Paul: It is isn't it?. E..I've just been handed this piece of paper flips the paper. What the...it's empty.....with nothing on it! enters and swaps the paper for the right one Barry: Sorry. Wrong one. then dissappears Paul: Er...yes..er...Oh. Here's an interesting piece of news. Er...it seems that tommorrow will sease the launch of a brand new newspaper all about Athletics. It's called The Daily Thompsan......scrunches up the paper and throws it away mumbling You Stupid. Category:Transcripts Category:Series 1 Category:Episodes Category:Episodes Written By John Sayle